Welcome and congratulations on taking the challenging step to begin working on your anger! You have made a very important decision to gain skills you will need to avoid emotionally harming others and to learn healthy ways of expressing and experiencing anger. We know that this decision takes a great amount of courage and you are to be commended!
Our 12-session anger management program is designed to help your examine yourself so that you have a better understanding of your thought process and decision-making habits. It will help you understand that the secret to real success is in wanting something so intensely that you are willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve it. Aggression is a learned behavior, an emotion that turns into an action, often without thinking or planning ahead. Therefore, we teach control, not a cure. You will need to be aware of and maintain healthy ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving for the rest of their life.
We realize that therapy is difficult. It is difficult because it often brings out an aspect of each person that is not particularly attractive. However, in order for the renewal process to begin, it is very important for you to get past their level of denial and to look at your own thoughts and behaviors openly and honestly. You must remember that you are not bad, evil or rotten.
Definitions of anger include words like: rage, revenge, hatred, submission, and the like. No matter what words or definitions are used to define anger the central theme is the same, anger is an emotional reaction or feeling that can strongly impact one’s present emotional state in a negative form.
The instinctive, most natural way, to express and experience anger is to lash out or respond aggressively. However, it is imperative that we remember anger is natural – this point cannot be reiterated enough. When individuals are attacked or threatened it is normal to become aggressive in both feelings and behaviors. Anger is an emotion that grants us the ability to defend ourselves or to ward off danger. Therefore, a certain amount of anger is necessary in order for us to survive in today’s world.
The goal of our anger management program is to help you reduce and control both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that leads to your anger. Since you can't get rid of anger or avoid it, the only option you have is to learn to control your anger. At the same time, you do not have the option of getting rid of people that enrage or perturb you, therefore you must learn to live with people who “press your buttons” and “trigger” your anger.
Remember, anger is an emotion that every human being will experience regularly. There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you handle it. But chances are good that if you do have a problem with anger, you already know it. If you find yourself acting in ways that seem out of control and frightening, you might need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.
When an individual begins to understand why he or she is expressing anger in a certain manor, he or she is beginning to recognize the “trigger,” or the event that is leading him or her to express anger violently or passively. As individuals begin to understand their “triggers,” they can begin to develop healthy ways of processing the anger before it escalates into an all-out rage or suppressed emotion.
Unexpressed anger is a very common way people experience anger. Most often when people think of anger, they think of rage, this is a common misunderstanding. Unexpressed anger can be just as or more devastating than expressed anger. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger.
Although, helping individuals to process anger is necessary, we believe that anger management with married couples has been neglected by both research and group counseling. Mismanaged anger and rage is the major cause of conflict in our personal and professional relationships. Domestic abuse, road rage, workplace violence, divorce, and addiction are just a few examples of what happens when anger is mismanaged. Many couples get married without ever talking about the various ways they have witnessed anger being expressed or how they have learned how to express their anger.
Anger Management Treatment
The topics that are covered in our 10-session Anger Management Program:
Lesson 1: Obstacles to my Anger Management
Lesson 2: Acknowledge Your Anger
Lesson 3: Stop Your Immediate Response
Lesson 4: But I Can't Stop!
Lesson 5: Calm Yourself Down
Lesson 6: Evaluate Your Situation: Why am I Angry?
Lesson 7: Evaluate Your Situation: Was it Really Wrong?
Lesson 8: Navigate Your Options
Lesson 9: Do Something: Direct Confrontation
Lesson 10: Do Something: Letting it Go
If you are wanting help with out of control anger, our counseling center provides individual, group, couples, and family counseling for anger management. We also provide counseling and group support for the wife or partner. There are two ways to setup an appointment with one of our counselors: 1) Fill out the Contact Form and a counselor will call you with 24-hours; 2) Call our offices at 303-933-5800.